our culture lives with an expectation that if I call someone X times and set something up, and they don't call me, then they are not worth calling again since it's their turn.
I consciously use different, or what scott might call active, math. If think that sat afternoon might be more enjoyable if I call "joe" to watch a game or have a brew, then I will do so. if it works - cool - we both win. joe is happy that I called and set something up, Im happy since I had a better afternoon than I would have otherwise. I also win since joe is likely a long term friend than they are worth investing in.
I did go on a bit of a tangent here, but I am being active, just with a different paradigm.
Great post. I also look forward to these snippets from your upcoming book, and I think this was one of the better ones! I see this pattern with my children, my colleagues and definitely with myself. Actively leaning towards active decisions has certainly made my life richer, and I think that would apply to everyone, really.
On passive versus active: isn't it aligned with Kahneman's system 1 and system 2 as well?
A passive decision will often be handled by our quick-fire system 1 (which also oversimplifies decisions, but that's another thing). Active decisions almost by design will be handled by system 2, which is more deliberate but costs us more energy, and thus our bodies avoid using it off they can.
As a result, passivity may be just easier/default mode of operations for many.
PS I really enjoy your subjects that get me thinking outside my normal box to help define what my box is
our culture lives with an expectation that if I call someone X times and set something up, and they don't call me, then they are not worth calling again since it's their turn.
I consciously use different, or what scott might call active, math. If think that sat afternoon might be more enjoyable if I call "joe" to watch a game or have a brew, then I will do so. if it works - cool - we both win. joe is happy that I called and set something up, Im happy since I had a better afternoon than I would have otherwise. I also win since joe is likely a long term friend than they are worth investing in.
I did go on a bit of a tangent here, but I am being active, just with a different paradigm.
This is a really good one. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks. I think of you as someone who makes a lot of active decisions.
Great post. I also look forward to these snippets from your upcoming book, and I think this was one of the better ones! I see this pattern with my children, my colleagues and definitely with myself. Actively leaning towards active decisions has certainly made my life richer, and I think that would apply to everyone, really.
On passive versus active: isn't it aligned with Kahneman's system 1 and system 2 as well?
A passive decision will often be handled by our quick-fire system 1 (which also oversimplifies decisions, but that's another thing). Active decisions almost by design will be handled by system 2, which is more deliberate but costs us more energy, and thus our bodies avoid using it off they can.
As a result, passivity may be just easier/default mode of operations for many.