I was somehow not aware of the platinum rule. Thanks for introducing it.
Treating others as they wish to be treated seems like a good way to avoid cultural misunderstandings and serious faux pas.
That said, I think the cynical version of the golden rule is more apt at explaining longer term human & societal behavior, ie, those who have the gold make the rules.
You're welcome. Thanks for the comment and thoughts.
The rub with the platinum rule is... it takes work to figure out what other people want! Even asking them directly doesn't necessarily work, as they might not know, or be able to explain it, or their needs may change over time. It's just a big commitment in reality compared to the golden rule, which is part of why it's not that popular I think.
I think of the ~40% divorce rate in the US as reflective of many things, including how hard it can be to understand what people need, even ones we care about, and then figure out how to give it to them.
I was once lured into reading "The Five Love Languages", as I would not knowingly pick up sth with that cover and title. While it is a brutal oversimplification of a book, it has a readable length (rare in "self-help", including the books about attention deficit) and it did really open my eyes to what other people may want, how easily it is to miss and how much I may not understand it. I think it could reduce a 40% to a 39%, assuming people would contribute some self-awareness. And it was written by a pastor, so it fits the theme perfectly! ;)
"Why is it so slow for culture to upgrade it’s basic rules?" I don't know, we can't even correct the equation for BMI to account for the world being 3D, even if it misinforms people about their health and breaks epidemiological studies. I'm not even talking about fat/muscle content etc. I sympathize with the struggle against an evening sweets monster, he visits me too.
I feel you're onto something with the different parts of ourselves. I recently read this – it’s on Medium, but it’s good: https://elemental.medium.com/inside-the-revolutionary-treatment-that-could-change-psychotherapy-forever-8be035d54770. This made me realize that some people see themselves as a monolith (and are shocked by unexpected happenings from time to time), while others see themselves as a community of parts (when examined closely). I would typically discuss needs, convictions, and habits in this context, but what if these parts indeed have different rules, in some sense? Scary to think!
I was somehow not aware of the platinum rule. Thanks for introducing it.
Treating others as they wish to be treated seems like a good way to avoid cultural misunderstandings and serious faux pas.
That said, I think the cynical version of the golden rule is more apt at explaining longer term human & societal behavior, ie, those who have the gold make the rules.
You're welcome. Thanks for the comment and thoughts.
The rub with the platinum rule is... it takes work to figure out what other people want! Even asking them directly doesn't necessarily work, as they might not know, or be able to explain it, or their needs may change over time. It's just a big commitment in reality compared to the golden rule, which is part of why it's not that popular I think.
I think of the ~40% divorce rate in the US as reflective of many things, including how hard it can be to understand what people need, even ones we care about, and then figure out how to give it to them.
I was once lured into reading "The Five Love Languages", as I would not knowingly pick up sth with that cover and title. While it is a brutal oversimplification of a book, it has a readable length (rare in "self-help", including the books about attention deficit) and it did really open my eyes to what other people may want, how easily it is to miss and how much I may not understand it. I think it could reduce a 40% to a 39%, assuming people would contribute some self-awareness. And it was written by a pastor, so it fits the theme perfectly! ;)
"Why is it so slow for culture to upgrade it’s basic rules?" I don't know, we can't even correct the equation for BMI to account for the world being 3D, even if it misinforms people about their health and breaks epidemiological studies. I'm not even talking about fat/muscle content etc. I sympathize with the struggle against an evening sweets monster, he visits me too.
I feel you're onto something with the different parts of ourselves. I recently read this – it’s on Medium, but it’s good: https://elemental.medium.com/inside-the-revolutionary-treatment-that-could-change-psychotherapy-forever-8be035d54770. This made me realize that some people see themselves as a monolith (and are shocked by unexpected happenings from time to time), while others see themselves as a community of parts (when examined closely). I would typically discuss needs, convictions, and habits in this context, but what if these parts indeed have different rules, in some sense? Scary to think!